Woke up today and declared to the Mister, “I’m not drawing today!”
It has been six months plus since we’ve been married and it has been a happy time. Truly happy. There has been difficult moments but I can’t remember them much because I’ve been working hard trying to remember the happy ones to memorialise in cartoons.
I truly believe our memory can powerfully define our attitude towards life. What we choose to remember and how we choose to remember the memories, justified or not, will have its set of associated emotions chained to it. Be it good or bad. These memories and its associated emotions can powerfully influence our attitudes, form the basis of our principles and convictions, which in turn defines the decisions we make in our daily living. Even invisible memories we had long ago buried or tried to coldly disconnect from will still have power to influence us from the depths of its darkness, without us realising it.
I could go deeper into this topic but I won’t (because it’s too difficult to process in today’s comfortably rainy Friday afternoon that evokes all the lovely memories of being snuggled under warm covers during rainy weathers).
I do believe though that it does no good to attempt to bury or disconnect from difficult and negative memories. They will, like a dog’s leash, have the ability to tie us to itself which can keep us from going into higher and more fertile grounds. It will hold you stunted, keeping you from realising in deeper ways the true potential of life as God has intended life for you to be.
The only way to be free from the difficult and negative memories and truly leave them behind and go deeper with life is to reconcile and redeem those memories. It can simply mean turning around, confronting and staring down the memories to find a way to embrace the good the past have released into your present. Personally, reconciling and redeeming these kind of memories to me is about understanding the reason it exists and looking deeper into it to find good that I can be grateful for. And when I’ve found the good that exist in the midst of evil, it is usually so good the only response is a cry of gratefulness.
I have then found, as year after year flows by, the memory of God’s goodness keeps growing from strength to strength, while the bad is like wisp I have no time to look for.
And then I think, that’s why the Psalms always sing about remembering God’s goodness in the darkest hours of their lives like Psalm 77 does. Recalling the goodness of God that has existed even in time before your making and how it will exist beyond our lifetime gives such hope for life itself.
And this is the reason why I refused to draw today. The memories of God’s revelations over my life, His Word and His works, the memories of His goodness compels me to be and compels me to pause and give thanks and worship.